COUPLES THERAPY IN COPENHAGEN: EXPERIENCED AND CERTIFIED COUPLES THERAPIST

Couples therapy in Copenhagen K, with a certified couples therapist, sexologist, and psychotherapist MPF. Are you caught in the same conflict repeatedly? Are there misunderstandings or miscommunications, isolation, or stuckness in your relationship? Are you experiencing a crisis with infidelity?

Competent professional couples therapist and sexologist

Certified and examined by Gestaltinstituttet
Approved by the Danish Association of Psychotherapists
Approved by the Danish Association for Clinical Sexology
Supervisor for professionals (psychologists, psychotherapists, and couples therapists)
In private practice in Copenhagen since 2017
Supervised by Hanne Hostrup, licenced psychologist and author
Ongoing education: Research-based psychotherapy
Ongoing education: Somatic Experience® Practitioner (trauma therapy)

Or contact me at volder@thepraxis.dk. The address is Frederiksborggade 3, 2nd floor, 1360 Copenhagen K.

COUPLES THERAPY IN COPENHAGEN K

How do you find the right couple’s therapist in Copenhagen, K? Who will best fit you? If unsure, you are welcome to book a free 15-minute (online) pre-consultation. The pre-consultation is online, but the ongoing sessions occur in the Copenhagen clinic. If you cannot attend sessions due to long distances, handicaps, or other practicalities, I also offer online couples therapy.

Hi! Cirkeline here! I have been examined, certified, and validated as a psychotherapist MPF, couples’ therapist, sexologist, and supervisor, recognised and approved by the Danish Association of Psychotherapists and the Danish Association for Clinical Sexology. I have specialised in relational work, particularly in couples therapy and practice from my clinic in Copenhagen K.

WHERE DO YOU FIND THE BEST COUPLES THERAPIST IN COPENHAGEN?

As a couples therapist, I keep myself professionally aligned and informed. I evaluate and question my own practice regularly, and I am supervised by probably the most experienced supervisor in the country.
In addition, I am approved by the Danish Psychotherapist Association (MPF) and DACS (the Danish Association for Clinical Sexology), which is a label of quality and assurance for professionalism, education, and experience.
When you attend couples therapy in my clinic, my focus as a couple’s therapist is to sharpen your awareness of yourselves and your relationship.

THE DIALOGUE IN THE SESSION IS PRESENT AND EQUAL

I’m not an expert on you or your relationship or what is right and wrong for you. But I’m curious about what it’s like to be each of you in your relationship. Examine and experience the core of what is difficult between the two of you and how you make it difficult.

In therapy, the primary goal is to become more aware of yourself. How do you make sense in the world, are you aware of your boundaries, thoughts, and feelings, and how do you react to that? See a couples therapist to get a clearer picture of the essence of the problem and, finally, the choice of how to act reflective and with awareness.

We will probably also touch on subjects like acceptance of each other as who you are. Can you accept each other’s differences, or has the difference become annoyance and frustration between you? Or have you distanced yourself from yourself in a way where you barely recognise yourself anymore, or do you feel stuck or checkmate?

THE RELATIONSHIP

To couple up with a partner is probably the most vulnerable and challenging relationship in our adult lives. When we meet someone who fundamentally becomes a part of our daily lives, it is often with high impact and direct access to our inner emotions. Emotions and wounds from the past are often awakened and triggered in the relationship.

Along with the emotional entanglement, the relationship often greatly influences how we arrange ourselves in everyday life, how we choose in life, our routines and habits, our circle of friends and family, dreams about the future, etc.

STUCK IN THE CONFLICT

There is an awful lot at stake when old reaction patterns are awakened. The two individuals in the relationship can be entangled to a degree where the boundary between them is nearly erased. That boundary erasure will cause tremendous confusion for both parties, often keeping them stuck in the conflict.

Survival strategies and old defence mechanisms that once were useful but rarely regulated to the here-and-now situation can now cause hurt feelings, broken trust, and isolation in the relationship.

A loving and intimate relationship does not magically appear if we wait long enough or keep repeating the destructive pattern in the relationship repeatedly. A loving relationship is hard work – and a great opportunity for personal growth.

Couples must be aware of what happens in their relationship. The two individuals must be awake in the relationship, recognising what is going on from both perspectives and showing a willingness to take it seriously if possible. Not in a sense where one should become like the other or give up on one’s own boundaries or values to please the other. But they are taking the other partner seriously while disagreeing.

Taking responsibility for the relationship requires personal responsibility from both parties. Responsibility for addressing one’s own feelings and needs and not waiting with disappointment for the other one to guess. And not placing guilt or responsibility on the other for one’s own feelings. Not waiting for the other to fix the relationship but taking responsibility for one’s own dissatisfaction.

A relationship occurs between two equals. Is there any willingness to:

DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS IN THE RELATIONSHIP

If we are not aware of destructive patterns in the relationship but keep insisting on replaying them, heavy shields and defence will be built up between you, and communication will most likely become harsh, critical and hurtful.

From here, the conflicts can grow so complex and overwhelming that it seems impossible to identify the core of the conflict.

Even though both parties may feel they are fighting for the relationship and they have tried almost everything, most couples have just been repeating the pattern, just with a higher volume.

Reaction patterns in a conflicted relationship often become rigid and very polarised (black/white, either/or). Couples therapy can help them understand and identify the pattern and, most importantly, examine new patterns between them that work towards a deeper connection instead of more isolation.

As a couple’s therapist, I will support you in getting out of the stuckness and, through dialogue, find a way for you to connect again… If you bring the willingness.

THEMES, PATTERNS, AND CONFLICTS IN COUPLES THERAPY

Infidelity or betrayal in the relationship, and stuck in anger, sadness, and mistrust
Unaddressed hurt feelings and frustration
Miscommunication, misunderstandings, and assumptions about the other person
Walking on eggshells to avoid a conflict
Loneliness and isolation in the relationship
Lack of presence, intimacy, trust, and curiosity
A stressful way of living, with no time (priority) for spontaneity and intimacy
No desire for sex or different needs
Frustration and lack of acceptance of each other’s differences
Power struggles
Jealousy
Just feeling stuck and hopeless

One session (60 minutes) costs DKK 1,600. Most couples need approximately 4-12 sessions, depending on the conflict and the willingness to work on the relationship, between the sessions. Usually, couples experience a deeper understanding and a slight relief immediately after the first session.

The clinic is located in Copenhagen K, and I offer evening sessions every Monday and Wednesday.

A COMMON EFFORT

The vast majority of problems in the relationship can be solved if you have the will and motivation to create the necessary changes. Even the best couple’s therapist cannot help you create changes without that motivation.

In couples therapy, it is not about distributing responsibility and blame on the other, but a joint effort where you both must reflect on your own contribution to the conflict. A loving relationship grows from vulnerability, trust, equality, and loving behaviour.

A couple’s therapist does not merely judge what is reasonable and what is not, nor what is right and wrong for you in your relationship. Only you can determine what is acceptable for you and if it makes sense.

During the session, I will give you feedback on what I see, hear, and experience with you to increase your awareness. With a sharpened awareness

This follows a greater opportunity to identify the core issue between you and the necessary changes you must create.

My feedback is non-judgemental but direct and honest. It’s merely an unfiltered description of what I see, free from speculations and assessments.

By being aware, awake, and reflective in the session, I hope you will gain more clarity and increased awareness within yourself – and how you affect the relationship.

Hopefully, you will discover new possibilities to create meaningful contact and connection in the relationship.

BACKGROUND AND EDUCATION

I am a trained and certified psychotherapist MPF from the Kempler Institute’s approved 4-year psychotherapy education specialising in couples therapy. Furthermore, I have several validated specialities as a sexologist, couples therapist and supervisor for other professional therapists.

I am validated, approved and a member of DACS (the Danish Association for Clinical Sexology) and the Danish Association of Psychotherapists.

PAYMENT AND PRACTICALITIES

Individual psychotherapy
(60 min.) DKK 1,100,-

Couples therapy
(60 min.) DKK 1,600,-

Sexological counselling – individual
(60 min.) DKK 1,100,-

Sexological counselling – couples
(60 min.) DKK 1,600,-

Payment by Mobile Pay or cash by the end of the session. If you are delayed, the session will end as agreed, with a new client waiting.

ETHICS AND CONFIDENTIALITY

As a couple’s therapist, I follow the current ethical rules from the Danish Psychotherapists Association.

I maintain confidentiality, and I do not take notes or store sensitive personal information available to others. However, the duty of confidentiality for couples therapists does not apply in the case of current legislation, where the therapist has a duty to provide information to social authorities.

BACKGROUND

Education

Classes

2015: Personality psychology v/Simo Køppe and Jesper Dammeyer, Public University, Copenhagen
2015: Shame – innate and learned by chief psychologist Lars J. Sørensen
2016: Existential philosophy, Public University, Copenhagen
2016: Love in existential lighting, Public University, Copenhagen
2022: Couples Therapy by Hanne Hostrup, Copenhagen

Specialty

Ethics

Approved by the Association of Danish Psychotherapists, and can therefore use the title MPF, which defines quality and assurance of education and experience
I follow the current ethical directive from the Association of Danish Psychotherapists
Approved by DACS (the Danish Association for Clinical Sexology)
I follow the applicable GDPR regulations and do not store personal and sensitive information accessible to others
Confidentiality
As a couple’s therapist, I undergo supervision and am continuously evaluated by supervisor Anette Krogh, as well as group supervision by Hanne Hostrup

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